Chapter 1: My Story

My story begins when I was 18.

It was the summer of 2003. Fresh out of school (I still had the blisters on my fingers from my A-level exams) my sister and I embarked on a journey to the ends of the world. Australia. We were visiting our eldest brother, ‘the one that got away’, and his family. As we sat in the airport somewhere in Japan, waiting for our connecting flight, I distinctly remember watching the red sunset through the large windows. It was the most beautiful red I’ve ever seen, bleeding across the whole sky. I even remember the song I was listening to on my, at the time, bulky portable CD player. ‘Angel of the Silences’ Counting Crows. The Acoustic version. I remember that moment because it was the first time I ever truly felt at peace. I do not exaggerate. My childhood was turbulent. My teenage years even more so. Up till then, school had been my life. My enemy. My best friend. My shackles and at the very same time, my comfort blanket. My world. And now I was free. Launching myself out into the real world. And I felt completely calm.

In retrospect, I realise it was almost like the peace before the storm. That stillness that often precedes something dramatic. So dramatic, that six years on, I still think about that summer. Every detail. As if I was still there. Trapped in those memories. Memories that I will recollect on these following pages.

In many ways, I almost envy that girl sitting in the airport lounge, calmly watching the sunset. She had no way of knowing that this trip would change her so deeply. That it would engrain itself in her mind, her heart and her soul. Her entire being. I yearn for that peace I felt then, and hopefully, by sharing my story, I will be able to reclaim at least some of it.

This is my story.